Happy new year 2009

Hello everyone!!This is my obligation self-imposed. I am one of the earliest people who welcome the year 2009.
Best regards,
Mer

Scorched earth policy

In the event of war we usually don't leave anything valuable when we left the place to retreat. We destroy almost everything including houses, buildings, and fuels,etc. This is called scorched earth policy in general.

In peace time as nowadays we always throw away luncheon, fish, meat whose date best before expired without making the most of. They think it's better to throw away rather than selling at dumping price. It neither decrease demand nor increase supply. They think it decrease demand and increase supply if they sell them at dumping price, which affects a lot in their commerce after all.

Is there any difference between war time and peace time in the act of ourselves? The answer is no.

Nostalgia

I watched some movie. That was a movie whose age setting is late '60s and the real event took place in Tokyo. It was about 40 years ago. I found a lot of nostalgic site in a movie we don't usually see these days.

At the end of the movie I found the location was not in Tokyo, but in Kitakyushu, one of the local town in Japan. Tokyo must have changed completely because it has been a cutting edge of development. On the other hand, Kitakyushu is almost a deserted town left behind the times of prosperity once this town enjoyed in prewar Japan. This town is deserted after energy revolution from coal to oil.

There's a utility to be left behind the times.

Love & love-not

My ex ex girlfriend who was 4 years senior to me once confessed her defect is her impossibility of love. She said she can't love anyone. She repeatedly slept with other guys while we live together for about a year.

Other three guys - a young French guy, who once stayed in Japan. She spent a month in Lyon while we are still in love. One Japanese guy who is the same age as hers. She had known him since the age 20. She married a friend of his, but actually she liked him. A guy who is five years senior to her. This love affair triggered off our separation in the end.

Her only contribution to me was I was able to separate from her without a problem. She might have wanted, but I not.

On the other hands, my current common-law wife. I found her in tears when I suggested a temporary separation. I couldn't stay her alone. Now I realised it is hard to separate from her. This is another inconvenience of competence in love.

On love

We can't live on without love. We can't live on only love. I had wanted to acquire an objective of love for a long time. And now I started thinking I need another objective of love once I started living with my love.

It's safe to keep on loving self. It's dangerous to start loving someone other than yourself.
I can't say I love you to one whom I love. It's because of the danger of loving others.

I couldn't ask even her name. She left me for somewhere.

Earl grey

By bullet train Nozomi super-express it takes just 15 minutes from my lodging to my hometown, which is 34 miles away. It takes 2 or 3 minutes to make Earl Grey, my favourite tea I often have. I refreshed myself today. I had a lot of things for two days this weekend. We are busy this special season. I stick to it again tomorrow.

Strange expression

You may do it.-- that's what I am often told in my workplace.

For them 'do' means the same as 'live'. Probably we are asking 'May we live?'
'You may do it.' means ' You may live' in their context.

Paradoxical untruth

You cannot divide and rule unless you have enough power. That's why Romans succeeded to do it. I was able to observe in a company we have direct employees and dispatched labourers and the former watch the latter. A workplace is successfully ruled without watching by employers.

About 30,000 dispatched labourers lost their job recently. There is a difficulty in employing a dispatched labourer permanently. I hope the regulations of dispatched labour as in that of before 2004. Only 8 special jobs used to allowed to hire a dispatched labourer before 2004, now the number of jobs is 24.

After all they all will be fired. In the end this move will lead to the end of dispatched labour.

You may go home earlier than a regular hour. That's what my colleague said. I don't want to work less than 8 working hours in a day. Oftentimes we are forced to leave the workplace before working 8 hours, owing to a current recession. Am I glad? Yes, if I can get a wage of 8 working hours by working less than 8 working hours. But things are not. I feel disappointed if I cannot work for 8 hours.

This is the paradoxical untruth. It is paradoxical at a glance and also it is not truth. One of my supervisors many years ago said it's good for the sake of you to choose 6 hours working in a day instead of 7.5 hours in a day because I can work many days -5 as opposed to 4 in a week. Total working hours in a week was 30 those days. This is also paradoxical untruth. My supervisor recommended 6 hours to me because it's convenient for the company.

Many years ago one of my colleague who only finished the course in junior high school told me those who need to learn more go to high school. Those who finished high school need to study more go to colleague. Therefore those who merely finish junior high are wiser than others. This seems paradoxical but truth.

Dispatched labourer

After working about a year I feel more and more the limitations of being a dispatched labourer. I can't always work 8 hours in a day. I have to do whatever they command. I cannot speak out my opinion, suggestions. I have to take a day off without compensations when no lines operate.

How hideous this situations are! I intend to be employed directly next time. We don't know anything unless we do. It was not totally useless experience.

Ah.. adjustment

Humans can become whoever, can get accustomed to any environment. - word of Dostoevskii

I came here Kokura to start a new life with a woman. She became my common-law wife. About one year has passed. I want to move back to Hakata where my house is located. Because I've got many friends there. I need to make up my mind early next year.

I'm not sure whether she agrees to move with me. She has a job and needs to keep in touch with her three kids here.

Legally speaking I am still a husband of a woman whom I got married to fourteen years ago. I am not a public figure. This fact belongs to my personal things.

A couple of days ago I wrote this musings and kept in my draft. Today again I asked her whether she moves with me. She said yes.

I need to find a job there. It's relatively easy to find a job but hard to keep on working the same job.

Free & poor

If we have a lot of free time and little money, we tend to be disciplinary. Disciplinary itself is a favourable word. We don't even try to be disciplinary if we are busy and earn a lot of money. We are disciplinary in nature.

As our factory gets free time more, our any deed is checked. Now it became supervisor's job.

Two wives

I've got two wives. One is my legal wife and the other my common-law wife.

Legally speaking I am still a husband of a woman whom I got married to fourteen years ago. We separated after 3 years of cooperation. After nearly 5 years of separation once we divorced. But I agreed to remarry her after 6 month period of divorce since I couldn't pay $30,000 alimony. Divorce is not easy at all in our country and marriage has much to do with economy. She has been gladly receiving some benefit from a part of my income.

I am not a public figure and I don't regret my past. This fact belongs to my personal things.

I met my current common-law wife nearly three years ago. I started a new life with her one year ago here in Kokura.

I hadn't explain much about it and I had been roughly using the word 'My wife' in both cases. I've got to add I have been keeping a very good relations with my wives, which means my legal wife remains to be one of my best friends.

My recent dream on having a physical relationship with a friend of my legal wife reminds me of my being unable to banish my past event at all.

No one realise how big the meaning of marriage is before marrying someone, but everyone realises when they think about divorce. Because everyone wants to gain something but no one wants to lose anything.

Interpretation of a dream

I am on very good terms with my wife.
Last night I had a dream of sleeping with her best friend. She is very pretty. We have been in good friendly relationship through my wife.
I have been very loyal to my wife. Is it my hidden desire to have intimate relation with her. I felt shocked!

Why our grandpas were a teacher

In our ordinary conversation.. what were your grandpas doing? He was a principal, etc.. Oh, my grandpa was also a principal...

Between late 19c to several decades of early 20c this country had a lot of wars with foreign countries.
There are many cases the job of our grandpa was a teacher and sometimes a doctor. Because teachers were not conscripted, let alone a doctor. As a result they survived in homeland. That's why their off-springs flourished in current country.

The job of guard

I met a difficult situation when I was working as a night-watch. A young girl who are working in a room at the building asked me to help because she was kicked out of the room by her male supervisor. It took two or three hours to solve the situation and she was able to get her belongings successfully and she got home. She asked me to keep secret because it was a shame for both her and her boss. And I kept secret completely. I didn't report to the building owner. Because of the incident I couldn't patrol two times in this hour I am supposed to do. I was fired for not patrolling properly. I am still proud of my not reporting to a building owner. I was fired because I was loyal to my job that was really what I should do. And I had just done it.

Real crime

Takeshi Koizumi 46 is as old as I am. He reported himself to the police that he killed two Mr an Mrs former top official of the Ministry of Health. He keeps on insisting that his murder was the revenge of the killing of his pet dog 34 years ago by health authority. His motif is very strange and he will be sent to a hospital to judge his mental ability, though, his real crime was to occupy certain hours in prime time TV. All main political and economical issues that's what we want to discuss were disappeared for a few days.

Misunderstanding

I had thought that the law rules the world when I was young probably in my teens. Now I am amazed to find that the law doesn't work well in the real world. I learned the world through reading a book and now I learned it was a typical misunderstanding. Law is merely a reflection of the real world and the law doesn't reflect the real world well. The meaning of 'law and order' is law and synonymous word order, but now I see 'law and command' instead. Unpleasant news of mass dismissal continues. -Honda 490, Isuzu 1400, and Canon 1117.

Doubt & Lie

It's not a bad thing or just a natural thing for people to tell lies. But it's a bad thing for people to not trust someone or doubt about someone's word. Unfortunately our any candid word can contain misinformation or misunderstanding for others. We tend to be inevitably lyer for others out of simply because of the nature of words themselves hold. We ought not to blame others for any misunderstanding including lying. Misunderstanding is also a kind of understanding. Doubt and lie are synonymous. Those who don't tell lies never know doubt.

Christian values and the existence of God

I believe Christian value is very good. Altruism, love and sacrifice. Nobody can't know whether God really exists. God exists or does not exist, which is regardless of whether people believe in God. Do those who believe in God really show altruism, love and sacrifice? I think Christian values and existence of God are not mutually related.

I think there are many people who believe in Christian values but don't believe in God. I think that's natural.

The role of religion

Many many years ago I had a chance to attend the church service for about a year.
Some one who had been attending the church with his son was eventually dead from cancer in several months.
A married couple was attending the church and one day they took their son with probably the last stage of jaundice. Soon after that they stopped coming.

It was much deeper than I thought the feeling people sought for religion.

Reflections of a month

Mistake
2008.11.22 21:14
 We need to make an environment that allows those who made a mistake. Because if mistake is not allowed, someone who made a mistake starts blaming or being attribute to other one who actually hadn't make a mistake.
We often see this in rigid organisation.

Group psychology
2008.11.22 21:03
 Group psychology has some reason since they think majority is right.

Small world
2008.11.22 20:59
 One of the risks we live in a small world is we tend to be particular about small things.

Allowance
2008.11.12 5:26
 Our government decides to pay a fixed allowance to each national. Ordinary adults get paid $120 and age more than 65 and less than 18 get paid $200, so average household get received $640.
We need money so simply I'm glad that. But what really we need is a steady job, pay increase, a regular bonus, tax cuts. Our government left all these problems and gives us just allowance. I feel sorry but we need to call ourselves a beggar at last.

The meaning of civilian control
 2008.11.09 15:20
 94 member of air self defence force submitted theses to private thesis competition. Total number of people who submitted was 235. A head of air self defence force got the first prize and $300,000.
  His theme was 'Japan was not an invader nation'.
  9 out of ten people would say no to his idea. But it's just ok to have various opinions, however..it is questionable if it were an opinion of current head of armed forces.
  The meaning of civilian control is it is civilian that decides the use of force. A head of armed forces ought not to express their idea while they are in charge. It is very natural for government to insist the return of retired money from former head of armed forces. He was fired but received the money of $600,000.
  I'm not sure whether he returns but I hope anyone who is a head of armed forces keep silent, especially when it comes to political opinions. Please make sure that.  

Wind from China
2008.11.09 15:00
 They say Japan is an industrialised nation. As a matter of fact there are many factories located off the coast. We have been sometimes suffered from polluted air, especially from the one called 'photochemical smog'.
  We used to have a severe state in that. Now the contents of smoke is very regulated and said to be safer than those of in many years ago. But still we have smog problems.
  We started claiming that the polluted air is arriving from newly industrialised coastal China since few years ago. Japanese people are good at attributing to next nations when it comes to something unpleasant. Japanese local government regulates the quantity of smoke emission by the degree of polluted air. If the harmful material exceeds the standard, factories have to stop or decrease the production to meet the criteria.
  Japanese factories increase production again after it was restricted, insisting that because it is owing to Chinese factories to exceed the level of pollution.
  The gross of polluted material, that matters, no matter who comes up the pollution.

Not yet understanding
 2008.11.09 13:08
 Her former husband went to mountain to pick out the cloud. I added detergent to the well to try to sanitise the water in it. I really couldn't understand where saliva is from when I didn't take any water. I had thought the car direction indicator was lit automatically. I had thought the antenna is automatically directed to the broadcasting centre. I really couldn't understand the meaning of 'World heritage' because heritage meant all left money at that time for me. I thought all people speak Japanese because all film stars talk in Japanese. Only later I realised they are interpreted.

Jack of all trades
2008.11.09 12:43
 Fuji film starts selling cosmetics. Kanebo was established as a yarn company and later it started selling cosmetics. Toyota was first making a weaving machine. Sharp improved a mechanical pencil first and later it went to electronics industry. Sony started making a solid-state radio and now selling a life insurance, too.

Soup in noodles
 2008.11.06 23:14
 17 year ago I had a Filipina girlfriend. She made me noodles one day and she insisted I drink all the soup of noodles because it's healthy.
At that time we had no custom to drink up all the soup. We just left it and throw away.
Time has passed. Our company asked us at lunch we are supposed to drink it up all the soup because it's insanitary to throw away into a sink.
I now drink up all the soup because I don't like to waste nutrition.
We are becoming stingy whatever the reason.

Aim
2008.11.06 22:53
 Hideyoshi changed his job 30 times before he started serving in samurai under Nobunaga. His aim was to rule the world, not merely serve in one job.
I changed my job 15 or 16 times. My aim is to be a good writer.
Still long way ahead.

What they seek for
 2008.11.06 22:36
 Wives and kids seek for stability, security, and reliability. They seek for manly man, not a sissy boy. A wife with her kids who were told from their hubby or dad who came out that he is gay hid themselves.
The guy or gay consulted one famous gay that he wants to see them. No way.
We need only one woman in a house. We don't need another woman in the same household.

Illusion of smokers
2008.11.06 22:05
 We entered a Spanish restaurant at 13:40. It was non-smoking hours from 11 to 14.
5 minutes past 14, two old women started smoking beside us. Of course I left there.
You cannot smoke from 11 to 14 doesn't mean you can smoke except 11 to 14, but means you ought not to smoke throughout all business hours but especially you mustn't smoke from 11 to 14 or lunch time.
Smokers don't understand the meaning because they smoke.

The mystery of working hours
2008.11.05 21:56
 We usually believe we can get more money working in 8 hours than in 6 hours. If we can earn $80 in 8 hours we tend to feel it's natural to earn $60 in 6 hours.
That's strange.
We can get two extra hours for taking a rest or pleasure in case of working just 6 hours. How can we spend this 2 hours in less paid money. We have to spend extra money in this extra hours. We need a compensation for this 2 hours if we had to work only 6 hours instead of 8 hours in a day.
We need to get paid $80 x 4/3 or $107 for working 6 hours. We sell time and buy money in working hours. We sell money and buy time in pleasure hours.

Failure in China
2008.11.05 21:07
 Famous musician Tetsuya Komuro was arrested for his involvement in deception. He proposed to sell his 806 songs copyrights in 1 billion dollars to a wealthy investor. He had gotten 500 million dollars, but he didn't give them away. He had a debt of 1 billion dollars.
He used to earn 2 billion dollars in a year.
He had lost 7 billion dollars in Hongkong. He started his investment in Hongkong in Dec. 1996 just one year before the return to China.
Yaohan collapsed after its headquarters moved to Shanghai.
We people from a small country get overwhelmed by a sea of people in China. China is not simply a country, but a continent just the same as Europe, America. We never understand that.

Mrs Marquise de Sade
2008.11.03 11:04
 This is a play written by Mishima.
Mishima once wrote he can describe more things better in plays rather than in novels.
Jean Genet started writing novels first then later he wrote plays.
Shakespeare was a playwright.
I just once tried writing a play. Just once.
This play was performed just once in some local theatre. I noticed after the play was performed. I thought I went to see the play if I noticed it before.
Some popular drama has been performed two or three times in a day and lasts for six months, would be watched by many. Mrs Marquise de Sade is not watched by many but few, but the few would go to see the theatre without fail.

The feeling of falling in love
2008.11.03 9:09
 About more than a year ago I encountered a woman in a local town. I fell in love at first sight. It was actually hard for me to explain the feeling of it in a word. She seemed ideal and perfect to me. I just talked to her a couple of word near her office. Her office and mine happened to be very close and she happened to live near my house though I didn't seek to know exactly where.
She started wearing a ring in her left hand sometime after I talked to her. I tried to forget her ignore her though the effort was in vain. All the more I felt affectionate with her the more I tried to forget her.
She disappeared from my sight sometime around March this year.
It is enigmatic and inexplicable to hold the feeling of falling in love, but it is true that I fall in love with her. I don't know her name, many things on her. It is hard to get over the feeling of it, still I have no way to ease it.      

Marriage rings
2008.11.02 22:11
 We went out to buy a marriage ring. My size is 17 inches and hers is 7. I had many options but she had scarce or just one option. I didn't like the shape of the ring so we didn't buy it.
First rings I bought were made in platinum, Acquascutum. 500 bucks each. The second ring I bought for pleasure was made in silver 925. 22 bucks. The third ones will be... not sure yet.
We had many options in kinds of precious metals recently. Fine steel, silver coated by platinum, silver with 5% platinum included. But I like a ring made by only silver. I recall Biblical times in Old Testament whenever I see silver rings. Silver is warmer and softer.

Cars
 2008.11.02 20:50
 I rode several cars in the past. First car I rode was March, Nissan. The second one I rode was not mine but my my girlfriend's that was Benz. Basically she rode it but sometimes I did.
The third one was Cultus, Suzuki. This was the only car that I operated the gear in manual shift. I liked this car most. This car was arranged exclusively for my job by my company those days. I appreciated that much.
The fourth one was Pulsar, Nissan. I had this car collided several times and had engine trouble after I sent it to a regular car inspection. I had this car scraped after riding only several years.
Now the fifth one I ride is Tiida, Nissan.
I normally use neither a car nor a bicycle. On foot basically.
I have a gold licence holder, which means 'excellent'.

A spoonful of sea water
2008.10.24 23:32
 Events around me is likely to be events around the world.
Events that occurred around me are simultaneously and spontaneously occurring around the world.

Very common remark
2008.10.23 22:12
 What was your worst job ever?
It was being a husband.
What was your best job ever?
It was being a father.
  -From the cinema 'Dawn of the dead'

Metaphychology of being cheated
2008.10.22 23:51
 Everyone is subject to being cheated. Why? Because everyone is subject to telling lies.
We want others to believe in what we said, and we know we told lies before. So we are eager for others to believe in in spite of the fact that we told lies.
This phychology becomes the energy of being cheated reversely.
Others must believe in what we said that includes lies. What others said must have included lies, but it's our turn to believe in them.

Ship house
2008.10.21 20:34
 We went to see her parent in her home town.
There some people live in a small ship called 'ship house' off the island.
Back in our house I heard from her that her mother owns house but not land.
They lived in a very rural fisherman's village. Her late husband left the message in the way of their ownership in house and land.
She lives in a latter-day ship house, and that is what her late husband wanted her to do.

I like nothing
2008.10.21 19:12
 The pressure of billion dollars made my breath often hard and irregular. I find sometimes stop breathing while I'm asleep.
I like nothing instead of millions. I can bear the pressure of nothing but couldn't millions.
I am happy to be born with a little.

Linear motor car
2008.10.21 18:57
 By 2025 the linear motor car will connect between Osaka and Tokyo in 50 to 60 hours with 500 per kilometre while we were glad to hear Kogoshima and Hakata will connect in traditional bullet train in a few years.
Never will the rural people catch up with the city residents.

What makes me deluded?
 2008.10.21 18:25
 Poisonous chemical substances floating in the sky of Kokura. Monotonous and dismal job life. Happy and exclusive life with my partner. I think I am somebody but not well evaluated.

After the delirium
2008.10.21 17:37
 ..      

Who's cheated?
2008.10.21 17:09
 People who tell lies tend to be cheated.

Happiness & Money
 2008.10.21 17:07
 Happiness can make money, but money can't make happiness.

My world
 2008.10.20 23:44
 Everybody lives in 'my' world.

Etymology

Match fixing is called 'yaocho' in Japanese. Some people believe the word yaocho comes from sumo game, but it's untrue.

Yaocho means Mr Cho of vegetable store, he often played go games with a sumo stablemaster. Cho lost go games on purpose in an attempt to please a stablemaster. The stablemaster kept on buying vegetables in Mr Cho's store.

That's where the etymology comes from. See nothing has to do with sumo world.

Advanced Math

In binary system the number we use is merely 0 and 1. We count numbers as 0, 1,10,11,100,101,111,1000....

In decimal notation we use ten different figures, which are 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9.

Chinese people use 5,000 different figures in their writings. If someone try using 5,000 notation and we give 5,000 different figures in each 5, 000 numbers, if it's possible for him to memorize and make the most of them, our arithmetic and maths advance skyrocketingly.

We usually learn by heart up to 9x9. In that case we memorize up to what 5,000x5,000 is.

This seems to be too complicated, but possible for those who learn by heart too many things in much more easily.

Let's start counting up to 5,000 in different each one figure.

Deviation value

That is a score used in TOEFL.

In Japan the score is widely used to determine the rank of various things, most notably in schools.

Deviation value was first introduced when I was in the first grade of junior high school. 75 is highest and 25 is lowest, 50 is average. All the scores of test are not comparable so indicated after its deviation was mended.

Since then as if everything is determined in deviation value. My deviation value was 67 when I entered a high school. It was more than 70 when I entered the university.

I had a chance to look up the deviation value of high schools. My cohabitant is graduated from high school. She said she's interested in knowing whereabouts of her school, so I looked it up.

The deviation value of my alma mater was 70, it rose up more than in the days I attended. The ranking among 6, 000 high schools is 80. Hers is 42 and the ranking is 5,000.

Deviation value or deviation standard index is from its origin a strange term. It indicates how deviating from ordinary normal standard. 70 means it is deviating +20 from average 50 index and 42 means -8 from average.

Deviation value has been criticised as accelerating discrimination among people, and I agree with the opinion. Deviation value is as if dividing in one centimetre out of total length of one kilometre. As if it is comparing 100070 and 100042. There's difference but it's trivial.

Very useless notion indeed. Deviation value is deviated itself. Deviated and valueless.

Match fixing

It was rather hard to write a journal first here in Netlog. But for some reason I must have found a site to write it.

People here talk about match fixing by Sumo wrestlers. Some one revealed it and sumo wrestlers are denying.

I think it's useless to talk about whether match fixings were done. I think it might be done or it might not be done. But I'm saying there's no importance in talking about it.

Let's talk about more useful topics. People ought to know talking about match fixing of sumo wrestlers are a red herring.

Four Seas Watchtower

My cohabitant is from Nagasaki, she is going to see her parents for the first time in three years. I am with her of course. It takes three hours to get there. Five hours will be needed in total from door to door.

I have visited the city two times in the past. But for the first time to see her parents. I am not enthusiastic to see her parents, you see we are not married. I would reply yes I marry her if her parents asked me what to do with their daughter. Her parents are already 72 or 3. 

Aside from that we would enjoy having Chinese dishes in a famous China town. There are three China towns in Japan.  Nagasaki, Kobe, and Yokohama. Most famous Chinese restaurant is Four Seas Watchtower. We plan to go there.

One day in summer

One day in hot shinny summer I decided to be in touring. I went on a short trip by bicycle. I put a bicycle while I was in a very small peninsula and started walking there. After a short time I was amazed to encounter a hunter with two dogs abruptly from bushes.

I was chilled.

Nostalgia

I lived in many cities after I left Kokura at age 20. I moved to Tokyo basically but changed my residence eight times including one year in Kyoto and in US. I lived in Tokyo till age 27. Basically I lived in Musashino and Setagaya.

Back in my home town I have lived in Kyushu area. Till now I changed my residence more than ten times.

Now I can have the similar feeling while I was in respective towns and cities in following satellite photos, that certainly satisfies my nostalgia to be there.

Chocolate II

My cohabitant bought me a Japanese made chocolate. I have noticed the direction changed as just 'Store at a place in less than 28 centigrade degree'.

'Because it's high quality it melts in more than 28 centigrade degree'...was changed. Some one must have noticed it's strange or baseless.

Some one sometimes claims some feature is nothing but a criterion of excellence.

In memory of Professor Abe

It was one day in March. I met him for the first time at age 20 in front of the gate of university. I had sent him my writings beforehand. He replied to me with full of joy as if he were excited to find a young talented poet ie me.. He was then 50. It was just three years after he became an assistant professor of French language. We went to the coffee shop near the university. He glared at me once in his big glasses.

He said we must admit your talent in writing. You wrote a very theoretical one. I was amazed to read your text and my works remain in history though many others disappear.

It was one day in September. At age 30 I saw him at his study in the university. He was 60 just before the retirement. He said it was still not sure which university he would teach next. He was about to leave the university soon. He said it is very unusual for him to find a person like me in that I am very cheerful while I must have had a devastating event. At that time I was totally devastated by hearing the news of her marriage. He said he has two types of guests, one who went to the extreme and ..I forgot the another one.

This became the last time we saw.

Probably I had opportunities to see him around he was 70. He was still teaching at another university.

Few days ago I knew he had been dead in January last year -2007. I lost already two doctors who recognised me in literary world, but he was the best teacher I ever had who understood me correctly.

I knew his wife was a granddaughter of the famous Akiko Yosano, tanka poet for the first time in Wiki. I was talking with her ordinarily.

Yoshio Abe died at age 74 in 2007. He was the only teacher who understood me.
His word appears again and again after I knew his death. Word is immortal.

I wanted to say thank you just one time before he's dead. It is immeasurable the effect he made in my life.

I was about to be overwhelmed by a behemoth I created. I was a Dr Frankenstein. I really had a hunch so.

I was in extreme agony when I was just 20. I had held a couple of my writings that I wrote at age 17, 18, and 19 or more precisely in May 1978, in July 1978, in September 1980. I was born in June 1961.

I think I studied hard in my school days, but that did not certify the value of my writings. Simply it might have been a trash. But it was hard for me to judge only by myself whether it's a trash unless someone says it's nice. Someone must have been the one anyone admit he's somebody.

People surrounding me said they admit my talent but it was not enough to convince me what my writings are.

The role Professor Abe played in my life up until now was tremendous. I've got a confidence no one can easily break, but I must realise right now that he was gone and gone for ever.

Now it's me who must play an important role in a society, I know but it's hard to see how I do.

All my writings were written in Japanese, first of all I must worry whether Japanese language survive in a hundred years time. The number of Japanese speakers and English speakers was almost the same when Perry arrived in Japan in 1853 with four Black Ships. 150 years later English speakers are ten times more.

It was another story..

The case of Los Angeles gunshot incident

Kazuyoshi Miura was arrested for his involvement in Los Angeles gunshot incident. He was already not guilty in a Supreme Court decision.

US court said he was already not guilty because one incident is not argued more than once, but as to conspiracy he would not be charged by this so he ought to be judged in the US. They said arrest is just.

I think US can judge him in murder, or first degree manslaughter. Is US forgetting both US and Japan are different country? US court is acting as if Japan is a part of US even in judicial system. Though I can't deny Japan is already much involved in US political and economic system.

Lay economy

September is a rainy month, but this year it continued to be fine throughout the month.
It's rainy today. One acquaintance is working in a factory, then he said he was forced to have three days off only in this month. 5,000 dispatched automobile workers have been fired. All because of the current recession.

Current perfect unemployment rate is 4.2%,  effective recruitment index is -0.86.

Collapse of Lehman Brothers, sub prime loan..economic turmoils in the US are almost inexplicable.

It's rainy outside because a huge typhoon is near. I can't go out though I took a paid off today

A woman who bought a coffee for me

It was already ten years ago. I dropped by a shop. The shop was a customer for our company. One Korean girl was working there. She was a foreign student, probably she was working there to earn money for her study in a university. I had a couple of words with her in English. It was not long, just two or three minutes. She abruptly said excuse and left the scene went outside. She brought a coffee with her for me saying hi!.

I said thank you and left there.

The cost of coffee was about a dollar, but I changed the attitude toward Koreans in general from that day.
Just a spoonful of sea water is enough to judge the taste of it.

Lost of fatherhood & the right wing thought

Tokyo governor Ishihara lost his father when he was still in the university. He started to support himself and his younger brother. Ishihara had four sons.

J.S.Bach lost his father when still he was a kid. He had three sons.

Tokyo governor is famous for his right wing thought. He had to overdevelop his conservative thought by overcompensating his dependency to his father, that was never fulfiled.

Chocolate

In a chocolate package we always see the statement as ' This chocolate is high quality so it melts in over 28 Celsius degree.'  It tends to melt easier because definitely it contains  more cacao butter than Hershey's and Cadbury. So we think it is high quality because it contains more cacao butter?

This is curious. Traditionally Japanese cuisines contain less oil. We hadn't eat meat of livestock such as pork, beef many years for religious reasons. But fish and chicken can be eaten. Fish that have more oil in them are regarded as high quality.

This tendency still remains in a tradition of making chocolate.

I think this statement is too far to say so, and Japanese chocolate company has got a criticism from European chocolate makers that the chocolate Japanese made is not a chocolate Europeans think.

Now we have lots of oil in our dishes. We need to mull over the way to make chocolate more.

New disease

The term E-coli or Escherichia -coli bacillus was often heard in foreign news in late 20th century, I started hearing the word o-157 in Japan's news soon after that. I hadn't realised both are the same immediately.

Mad cow disease occurred in a country first caused by prion, this disease is also known as Bovine spongeform encephalopathy, believed to be related to human disease Creutzfeldt Jacob disease. There's another disease called Hoof and mouth disease in cattles.

Bird influenza broke out first in a country and later spreaded around the globe. Sudden acute respiratory syndrome or new type influenza is thought to be a human version of bird influenza.

At least less than ten cases of Ciguatera poisoning were reported here in Japan. This poison started being found in edible fish Isaki or Grunt. Noro virus is found among rare oysters.

Beginner's Luck

It was in my late twenties when I started working in a cram school. Everyday I have needed to have many classes so naturally I had been frustrated. It was then I started to visit amusement hall, in Japan we say 'game centre'.

I have never had gambles but then I did blackjack in a game centre.

I didn't know how to do so I just tried clicking without any intention. The figure became astronomical number when I noticed. The figure became less and stable after I realised how to play.

I think it was a beginner's luck. It was a part of just a playing game. The figure didn't reflect any real money.

Giants vs Tigers

Baseball sometimes matters. Giants is a team of Tokyo and Tigers of Osaka, it is East vs West. Japanese people always boil when it comes to East vs West.

We had thought Tigers wins the pennant race. But Giants kept on winning unprecedented 13 consecutive victory.

I don't care whichever wins anyway though.

New queen of blog

She is Shoko Nakagawa. She became famous after the advent of the first queen of blog Kaori Manabe, but only very few know Shoko's father was dead at young in his twenties from bone cancer shortly after he started appearing TV show etc. He was learning in Keio University when he was in TV. He was supposed to be mid forties if he survived.

His same generation is now on the go in TV world. It is his legacy she appears TV show frequently.

Sonne Lagoon

I now live off Seto Inland Sea. The wave is very stable. There's a lagoon from twenty minutes walk of my home, called Sonne Lagoon. It is rare two days off so I went there. Like the first time I visited on the 27th of August nobody was there. It was different from the last visit, the shinning from the lagoon was not so strong.

There are many good lagoons off the coast of Japan, all are protected under the Ramsar treaty.

At a platform

Suppose you are waiting a train in a platform. The train arrived. One person is only on board. Who is the person you see in a train when the door opened?

A perfect number

In a real world 6 is called a perfect number since it is divided by 2, 3 an 6.
7 is not a perfect number of course but in Bible it is regarded as a perfect number.

Perfect number in a real world is not perfect in ethereal world, that proves it a place nowhere.

Memory of condom

15 year old girl and boy were walking on their way home after they finish a cram school. It was already dark after 8 o'clock.

We both stopped in front of the vending machine. She asked what this is. I replied it's condom. She grinned.

Later she became a medical doctor and got married. She had three kids, living in Tokyo. She must have used it with another guy.

Right & duty

Someone said in a TV drama that no one has a right to take someone's life. But in reality many people take someone's life. How do we explain that?

No one has a right to take somone's life but there is some time some one has to take someone's life.

It must be permissible if it's a duty to take someone's life.

Smoker's image in cinema

One fugitive was hiding in a warehouse. He started smoking there. One criminal investigator fires a gun without trying to aim at him. The fugitive was hit by a bullet since it was heat censored.

One criminal investigator arrived at the site a crime was committed. He started smoking there. A smoke censor at the ceiling started detecting it and sprinkled water. Investigators had to evacuate from the site. A criminal was able to flee from there.

The criminal investigator concluded the fugitive must have died when he saw a part of clothes the fugitive wore. The clothes were deliberately cast in an attempt to have them believe he must have died.

Smoker tend to die before the drama ends. Smoker investigators often die before the drama ends and in the last scene of the French connection, at a harbour a drug dealer started smoking some time after he went on board, where he was hit.

'i mode'

iMac, iPod, iphone...there are many 'i's in digital world. All are popular and successful. But I think few know the first one that used the term 'i' in front of some computer product is 'i mode'.

By the way where's ATARI right now? The company was famous when I was a graduate student in mid 80's.

Bipartisanship & Cohabitation

Japan's Prime minister resigned. He had once proposed to his counterpart - leader of the main opposition party to cohabit in the same cabinet. His counterpart declined as a matter of course.

I can't assert whether his attempt was good though in general bipartisanship is effective in some areas as defence, humanitarian issues, but it's not always necessary in various other issues that relate to our ordinary daily life.

Final responsibility

Tsutomu Miyazaki, arrested for allegation of little girl abduction and murder, was hung to death on the 7th of June. He committed his crime in 1987, so it was long ago.

Yasuaki Uwabe sentenced to death finally at the supreme court. He killed 5 people at the local station in 1999. He will be hung sooner or later.

Both two are recognised as mentally insane or similar, yet court admitted that does not affect to their ability to be responsible.

Insanity won't be a reason for them to be acquitted.  I think this is the current in recent judiciary.

Last smile

I believe people are liable to fall in love with someone at first sight when the situations surrounding him changed very drastically. In my case the chance came abruptly when I decided to move to Kokura, my birthplace about a year ago.

I met her in the station I always use. It is a local station so I started talking to her in a very casual way. But she didn't want to talk to me. It was just one time we had a word. It seemed she didn't like to talk to me any more so I stopped trying to get access to her, but there was a public station and I needed to use it one time in a week always on Saturdays to go to part time job at some time past 9. So I always see her around 9 o'clock every Saturday.

I knew it was in last October when I talked to her first and last time.

I found her wearing a marriage ring after that, which was also another reason I stopped talking to her. But we are forced to see one another always on Saturdays since we were using the same train at the same time. I start working at 10 and so does she. And we had several occasions to be near in the station and a train.

On the 15th of March this year I was questioned by two men - railway policemen.

They say she is upset because I am always with her in a train and a station.

This was not a criminal investigation but it was I who got upset.

I promised them not to get access to her any more intentionally from then on. I started using another train twenty minutes earlier. It lasted two or three months.

I tried using the train I used to use after three months. She was not there. Now I use the train I used to. She must have stopped using the train or changed her residence.

I didn't have any chance to ask even her name.

Her one shoe was taken off at the staircase when she was walking in front of me on the day I was questioned and she gave me the mysterious smile when I saw her in a station we always got off.

It was her 'Last smile' thinking back from later on. It turned to a cruel moment.

Hand phase

Life line, fate line..I found strange words in the lyrics of 'Last smile'. I got curious about so-called 'hand phase'. This is mainly used to predict someone's future.

Talking to a hand phase, I recall my cousin.

He didn't come to my wedding ceremony more than ten years ago. I got married to some woman at age 34. At that occasion, I heard from other relatives that he was already dead. He was two years junior to me, so he must have died in his twenties or early thirties.

As my bio suggests I had been always leaving best results in my schools. My evaluation was always 5 or most excellent from 5 stage evaluations in almost all subjects except for a physical education. On the other hand my cousin was always 1 or 2. He was a poor performance pupil.

I'm not sure when but one day I had a chance to see his hand phase in a playful manner. His was something like an explosion of bomb. His didn't show any particular lines.   

Orthodontics

My wife showed me her albums, in which she collects tens of old photos taken in her school days. She was young, needless to say, but she was not only immature. She was ugly.

We used to have a girl who was always a centre of our concern, we have one or two very pretty girls in a class. She was not a kind of person. She was as if always putting a mouth piece in her mouth. She had a couple of irregular teeth, including canines at both sides of her inside lips. She looked in short a gorilla or rather an oran ootang.

But now her mouth is good shape, her front teeth are all tidily arranged. What's happened?

I asked her whether she corrected her teeth, and she said yes. She said it took one year to correct the teeth. Her teeth are now well arranged with the exception of her back four teeth, all are coated in a metal, not a plastic enamel. She said she couldn't afford for them all.

From the third party position, I think she is a fairly pretty woman. We met one another in our mid forties. I wouldn't start talking to her if she had had bad teeth.

Orthodontics is said to be the very first step of so-called cosmetic surgery. Making a nose good shape and upper eyelids two folded are the next step. Chiseling bones of jaws, etc are the third step.

Her eyelids were unfolded, then I asked whether she had her eyelids cosmetic surgery, she said, her eyelids got naturally two folded as she grew up.

We used to have a TV programme called ' Beauty coliseum ' One woman was born to be devastatingly ugly turned to an extremely pretty woman after spending 60,000 US dollars experimentally for a TV project. Of course her sponsors were well known cosmetic surgeons.

She has been always very generous and I wondered a pretty woman is often hubristic, and it had been my question why she was not so.

Probably a woman's appearances and characters not related, but I think I found a very good one from the bottom of my heart.

Aside from that, I asked her when she went to dentist to correct her teeth. Then she replied. 'It was when Yuki was 3 year old, so it was 16 years ago. She is now 48 so she went to dentist at age 32. I asked her again. 'Did your life change after you corrected your teeth?' 'Yes, to the bad phase.' She divorced at age 36. Is she referring to her divorce? I guessed so.

We are in love for 2 year and 3 months. I couldn't say she is lucky because we had love. Because certainly we are in love but that does not guarantee her rest of life. We are not legally wife and husband. We are merely cohabitants.

It is hard to get married to a woman. Because it involves economic matter.

She spent 30 to 50 US dollars each time she visited dental office. It was one time in a week and it lasted 1 year. She must have spent 2,000 to 2,500 US dollars.

I want her to change her metal covered back teeth to ceramics. It must cost $2,800. A piece of ceramic costs $700. I want to spend money for her correction, though I can't marry her.

Her daughter started working last year. She rent her apartment, bought a car. The third big buy was her teeth. She also changed her teeth from metal to ceramics. Useful spend.        

 

Thomas More & a matter of conscience

I recall a very impressive cinema these days.

One day young apprentice paid a visit to Thomas More, asking to find a good job. The man had studied law and seeking for a judicial job. More introduced him a seat of a lower court, adding not to forget ideal.

Time has passed. Thomas More was standing in a trial at a supreme court, waiting for a final judge whether he was guilty of high treason. He didn't admit a divorce of King and a church of England.

He was guilty. Final judge was made by a man More took care of the position of court at first.

His Utopia means nowhere. It is hard for us to live in accordance with our conscience as More's.

Strange story

Have you heard this story before?

One of my coworkers -male 44 years old, who got a middle degree education -diploma, said that Hitler persecuted Jewish people because they were descendants of one of 12 apostles Judas of Iscariot who betrayed Jesus.

I immediately asserted that it is against the historical facts, but later I said in front of him that it might have been one of notorious Hitler's or Goebbels propaganda.

Forged story might have been subject to gaining strong power among ordinary people.

Dream for future, memory for the past

I'm having Bell's Scotch whisky 8 years. This whisky takes me to 8 years ago. 8 years ago I was living with a woman who was 4 years older than I.

I had whisky Johnnie Walker 12 years at age 27 first time. The whisky took me to 12 years before when I was still a junior high school student.

Matured whisky helps me to recall what I was many years ago. The letter 8 meant limitless seeing from the side.

Malfunction

I started blogging again for the first time in three months. My first priority was to adjust new environment both in my new workplace and new land. Kokura is my hometown, but for me like who spend 26 years outside this town here is just a foreign country.

My entry 'Misperception' disappeared from my inbox. This is the second time as to the malfunction related to this journal.

My hypothesis is computer might be taking this word 'Misperception' as command.

This is a strange incident this early spring.

 

Easter holiday

 

People must be busy spending their holiday. I can't hear from many.
I myself will take a rest a while in our Golden week season from 26th of April to 6th of May though I only take three consecutive holidays from 4 to 6 of May.
It is better to take a rest in this spring season. We tend to make a trivial mistake when it gets warmer in this season.

Misperception

Many years ago I tried to carry drinking water in a car. I tried to pick one bottle of whiskey since I kept a lot of vacant bottles of whiskey in my room, but quit doing so. I chose another pet bottle instead.
Because I thought it must be very confusing if someone eye witnessed my having water through whiskey bottle.
Nine out of ten people understand things from their appearance, but that doesn't reflect reality well.

Violator

I found a smoker in a prohibited area.
I quit letting him notice since I found bigger violator which is a chimney in town.

They say animals and babies are not supposed to be used in commercial message.
Some cell company started using a dog a year ago. Today I found a monkey used in other mobile company.

We can accept someone says we can increase convenience if we use it. But we can hardly accept someone says we can get damaged if we don't use it. However sometimes we see some commercial message that uses this negative campaign.

The price of gasoline went down from 150 yen to 130 yen. Politicians start trying to get it back to 150 yen by imposing new gasoline tax. Probably they might have thought that gasoline has to keep its price because all others are getting higher.

Moral hazard never stops.

Running reverse

 

I came back to my hometown Kokura for the first time in 26 years. Then I recalled abruptly some event I saw in my elementary school.

At the athletic party one pupil ran reverse in truck.

With laughing.

 

Then I asked him why he did so.

 

He said he wanted to do something no one does. 

Freedom

People cannot control freedom. 

Dialectic

 

All the prices are higher and higher everyday. On the other hands, yen's appreciation tends to get stronger.
That means we'd better buy things directly from abroad via email in the Internet.
Domestic consumption will decrease whichever.

 

Natural disaster

 

Natural disaster is subject to becoming a trigger to recession in following years.
Japan's dismal recession started after Kobe earthquake in 1995.
They say the root of World War II in Pacific theatre derived from 1923 Tokyo earthquake.
 

 

Love

 

It is difficult to express love. It is even more difficult for the love to be accepted.

 

Lesson

 

Long years ago I found a very old folklore museum in a very rural fish port. I entered and enjoyed there for a while. No entrance fee was necessary.

Several years later I found a newly refurbished folklore museum at the same place. It needed 2 dollars for entrance. I was not enthusiastic enough to drop in at there again paying some money.

Exhibitions must have been the same. We needed to pay some money for facility.

Premise broken

 

Don't sit down on the floor - it's a proper suggestion when all passengers can take a seat. But it's stupid when no seat is available.

 

Pros and amateurs

 

What are you going to say when asked what the difference between pros and amateurs? Some top pros say pros never say any excuse. I thought about it for three days. Here's my answer.

Amateurs merely do their job for money to fulfill their supply. Pros often do their job not for money but for fulfilling their demand that that's what they have to do.

For amateurs, job is given. For pros, job is what they found.

 

Hunger strike

 

Soy sauce 10-17%, milk 3-10%, oil for food up 30 cent per kilogram, beer 3-5%, electricity up 72 cent, gas up 132 cent, wheat 30% so related foods like bread, noodles, confectioneries, solid curry go up too.

Yen's appreciation is sharp. 1 dollar became 100 yen recently. It is hard for me to know the effect of yen's rapid appreciation.

Only the price of gasoline went down from 1.5 dollar to 1.3 dollar per litre. Still very high though.

 

 

Kokura

 

 

Kokura is not a good place to live although I spent here for twenty years in my minor. 400 thousand population, that's a medium size as a city, it is much smaller than my previous residence -Hakata that has 1 million 250 thousand.

Here I can hardly find 'culture'. All people are only busy pursuing the norm of the day. People's mind is harsh. Besides I don't like the atmosphere here. Lots of smokestack cause polluted air.

I want to move again. I will stay here for a year at longest.

I am opposed to the idea

'The road to hell is fully covered with goodwill.'

This cynical paradox contains little truth.

It is OK but some commentator feel as if he knew one side of truth. 

New Bank Tokyo was made by Governor of Tokyo to help small industries and now 40 billion yen was injected from public fund to help New Bank Tokyo.

I think this bank played its role fully.

 

I finally noticed

We've got something is synonymous to we have nothing.  

Nostalgia to my old good days

I went to my birthplace and the place where I spent my childhood till 6 after I was fired.

I did for the first time in 46 years.

Blog disappeared

 

Blog I wrote here was replaced by 'Misperception' first. Now blog I wrote here was disappeared somewhere. I'm looking for it.

 

Here's the cache I found in Google search.

 

Blog	Mar 31, 2008

I am opposed to the idea

'The road to hell is fully covered with goodwill.' This cynical paradox contains little truth. It is OK but some commentator feel as if he knew one side of truth.  New Bank Tokyo was made by Governor of Tokyo to help small... more

Previous blog entries:
Mar 31	-	I finally noticed
Mar 8	-	Nostalgia to my old good days
Jan 8	-	Christmas wreath

 

I couldn't find the blog between Jan 8 to March 8.

 

I think this is a malfunction inexplicable.   
         

 

Christmas wreath

I always wondered what for Christmas wreath is. I guess it was originally used to strangle animal offerings

Tobacco

Many years ago the expression of caution outside the package of tobacco was very ambiguous. 'Be careful to smoke too much.' instead of saying 'Be careful not to smoke too much' Then people would often smoke not being cautioned properly.

Now the caution was very strict. 'The possibility of lung cancer is twice to four times higher'
Smoking exacerbate emphysema' ' It causes stroke' 'It cause angina'

I never smoked but one day I felt like having just one then I stopped in front of the auto vendor of tobacco.

I was overwhelmed by those cautions above.

Riddle of inner sales

One of my friends sometimes complains about his company. He says they always ask of him to buy their products. They call it 'inner sales'.

Inner sales destroy healthy company accounting. Originally company ought to pay benefit to their employees. They not only acquire fines from their employees in a form of profit from their products but also they add the fines to the sum of all sales. They committed racketeering doubly or triply.

Inner sales are impossible. We sell product to others. Selling is essentially from ins to outs.

Secret of rapid growth

I went to a famous labour dispatch company yesterday to register myself. They said no health insurance is available for two months. I had been to less famous ones already but none of them said there's no insurance for two months. Of course I declined to register and left soon.

Many years ago I went to a famous home tutoring company. Immediately after I arrived I was told to have a credit card they issued. I angrily said it's against labour rules and left soon.

There was a secret behind their rapid growth, but I don't think they last forever.      

Is suicide prohibited in Bible?

There're two descriptions of suicide in Bible. One is by Saul and the other is by Judas of Iscariote. Two examples represent most cases. Political or national leader who lost the war ends up in this act and those who lost all hopes and left only despair also do the same thing.

Recently we were amazed to hear one Catholic believer killed two people and committed suicide. I think some Christian church have taught those who killed himself cannot get a key for afterlife, though, I don't think there's direct reference in Bible that prohibits this act.

Have any suggestions ?

Jewish or Christian?

I
Hi, *** Now I read your reply thoroughly.
Your view to Christian faith is very Judaic. I think Christian ought to tolerate even heretical views.
Christianity is a religion of love, acceptance and clemency.
We need to distinguish the features of Jewish God and Christian God
Jewish God wanted us to show exclusive devotion to Him, while Christian God is God for all humans and nationals and He wants us to show exclusive devotion to humans to save themselves, not to God. The difference is clear!
This is just one example.
There are many others. I will show them next time.
Good night!

II   
Okay. Shall we see in Daiei same place at eight in the evening on ninth?
I forgot where but in Hebrew Bible Jehovah called himself a god of jealousy.
Also He is a god of revenge as He says 'Vengeance is mine'
Will you confirm ?
I bring Bible.
See you there!

Disney

30 years ago there was a pinball parlour called 'Disney' in my town Kokura -250 thousand population, small enough to be ignored by Giant company Disney.

This company was sued by Disney and changed the name to Dianey.

Soon the remains of the word that associates with Disney completely banished at all.

At that time I was really amazed to see the consequences.

Now I'm not amazed at all seeing the prosperity Disney established in Tokyo Disney Land.

A fool

Those who think 1 + 1 is always 2.

I mean how important to be able to take a multiple view.

'Tinkash'

When I asked how much for trip to Kyushu for three weeks, someone says it's 'Tinkash'.

This is easier to solve than the dream of Nebuchadnezzar since it was clearly enough to recall here.

Moses & Paul -one common point

Both committed murder one time in their past.

It is well known that Moses once killed Egyptian slave master when Moses witnessed Jewish slaves were beaten. Moses flew away thereafter.

Paul Killed one or some Christians when he was Pharisees during his campaign against Christianity.

Moses learned from his past mistake and later made law for Jewish people.

Paul would repent his act and later he became one of the most adamant preachers.

Both must have learned a lot from their past. 

It is silly to refrain from doing something new while being afraid of making a mistake.