In memory of Professor Abe

It was one day in March. I met him for the first time at age 20 in front of the gate of university. I had sent him my writings beforehand. He replied to me with full of joy as if he were excited to find a young talented poet ie me.. He was then 50. It was just three years after he became an assistant professor of French language. We went to the coffee shop near the university. He glared at me once in his big glasses.

He said we must admit your talent in writing. You wrote a very theoretical one. I was amazed to read your text and my works remain in history though many others disappear.

It was one day in September. At age 30 I saw him at his study in the university. He was 60 just before the retirement. He said it was still not sure which university he would teach next. He was about to leave the university soon. He said it is very unusual for him to find a person like me in that I am very cheerful while I must have had a devastating event. At that time I was totally devastated by hearing the news of her marriage. He said he has two types of guests, one who went to the extreme and ..I forgot the another one.

This became the last time we saw.

Probably I had opportunities to see him around he was 70. He was still teaching at another university.

Few days ago I knew he had been dead in January last year -2007. I lost already two doctors who recognised me in literary world, but he was the best teacher I ever had who understood me correctly.

I knew his wife was a granddaughter of the famous Akiko Yosano, tanka poet for the first time in Wiki. I was talking with her ordinarily.

Yoshio Abe died at age 74 in 2007. He was the only teacher who understood me.
His word appears again and again after I knew his death. Word is immortal.

I wanted to say thank you just one time before he's dead. It is immeasurable the effect he made in my life.

I was about to be overwhelmed by a behemoth I created. I was a Dr Frankenstein. I really had a hunch so.

I was in extreme agony when I was just 20. I had held a couple of my writings that I wrote at age 17, 18, and 19 or more precisely in May 1978, in July 1978, in September 1980. I was born in June 1961.

I think I studied hard in my school days, but that did not certify the value of my writings. Simply it might have been a trash. But it was hard for me to judge only by myself whether it's a trash unless someone says it's nice. Someone must have been the one anyone admit he's somebody.

People surrounding me said they admit my talent but it was not enough to convince me what my writings are.

The role Professor Abe played in my life up until now was tremendous. I've got a confidence no one can easily break, but I must realise right now that he was gone and gone for ever.

Now it's me who must play an important role in a society, I know but it's hard to see how I do.

All my writings were written in Japanese, first of all I must worry whether Japanese language survive in a hundred years time. The number of Japanese speakers and English speakers was almost the same when Perry arrived in Japan in 1853 with four Black Ships. 150 years later English speakers are ten times more.

It was another story..